Dewi Susanti & Kayee Man
Have you ever felt frustrated with your coworkers or employees because they do things that are counterproductive to what you or your team are doing?
If you are not an especially patient and forgiving person, the chances are you would respond yes to this question. Even if you are an especially patient and forgiving person, we bet you have also encountered such frustrations.
Excuses could range from misunderstanding, miscommunication, misaligned goals and so on. Fair enough. But if this happens repeatedly, it feels easier just to drop everything and quit. In the long run, such situations can only affect the bottom line of any organization negatively.
This article will focus more specifically on the issue of miscommunication -- what causes the situation, and how to overcome it.
Assumptions and interpretations
Several weeks ago, in working with her team to achieve a goal, Dewi e-mailed to her coworkers what she expected from each one of them. Soon enough, she received e-mails from a colleague with some questions. Dewi clarified what she meant to the whole team and since she didn't receive any follow-up e-mails, assumed her message had gone through clearly.
A few days later, one team member asked to meet with Dewi. Lets call her Jo. Jo told Dewi that Sam, another team member, had misinterpreted Dewi's e-mail. Instead of asking questions to clarify, Sam went ahead and apparently overlooked the work that had been done by Jo. Like any normal person, Jo was livid. After sorting the problem out with Jo and Sam, Dewi reflected on what happened, in the hope of avoiding similar frustrations from flaring up in the future.
Dewi identified three factors at work that cause miscommunication: First, the communicator and his assumptions. Second, the receiver and her interpretations. Third, the interpersonal skills of both communicator and receiver.
What assumptions do communicators make? In our example, the communicator delivered a message to another person and an assumption was made that an absence of response meant a clear message was given and that the message was completely understood by the other person. Complications arise when communicators are in superior positions to receivers of the message. The receivers may not ask any questions for fear of asking wrong or stupid questions that may reflect badly on them.
The second factor relates to how receivers interpret messages from the communicator. Have you ever played the game Chinese whispers or watched the television show where a group of people stand in a row and relay a message from one end to the other by whispering? If you have, then you would know that by the time the message gets to the last person, the content of the message is distorted from its initial form and meaning. Often in games like this, the receivers of the message are not allowed to ask questions, which exacerbates the distortion of the message's content.
The third factor that causes miscommunication is the interpersonal skills of both the communicator and the receiver. These skills are our ability to understand other people and to look at things from other people's points of view.
Communication preferences
So how do we rid ourselves of these culprits of miscommunication?
One of the key factors is honing our interpersonal skills, both as a communicator and receiver of messages. When we want to communicate something, it helps to know whom we are communicating with and what their background is. This information can help us figure out what the intended receivers may or may not be interested in and how we can get through to them. When we are the receivers of the message, the same rules apply. The more we know about who is communicating with us and what their intention is, the more likely we can gauge what message they want to pass on to us.
From our example above, it should be clear that asking questions and clarifying meanings also prevent miscommunications from occurring. Receivers will not make the wrong interpretations and communicators will not assume receiver understanding. Making sure that everyone is "on the same page" is one of the very basic things we can do to ensure effective communication.
As part of our understanding of the people we are communicating with and to enhance the clarification process, it helps to know one's preferred means of communication.
From our observations, some people prefer meeting in person to communicate with others, some talking on the phone, others communicating through written means. Have you ever met people who seem to be constantly in meetings? Call them at any time of the day and they are mostly with other people, be it at meetings, at this or that restaurant or cafe.
There are those who prefer talking on the phone. You never see them without their cell phone and if for one reason or another their cell phone died, they get rather jittery.
Lastly, there are those who prefer communicating through e-mail. This group is happiest when they can be connected to the high-speed Internet. They are happy working away in front of a computer screen, and can sit for many hours without getting bored. They go to a great extent to avoid meetings or calls, much preferring to use text messages, e-mail or e-chatting. Those who prefer to meet in person are not likely to respond to communication sent via written means.
As an example, Kayee had been communicating with a university associate for over a month without any response. She made a phone call to the associate to confirm the death of the project. Lo and behold, it only took a phone call to breathe life back into it!
On the other hand, those who prefer to communicate through written means usually do not like meetings. If you are dealing with people who like to meet, communicating with them through text messages, e-mails, or chatting may not be the way to go -- especially if you have something urgent to discuss.
At the very least you should call them and ask whether or not they have read your messages. In meetings, rather than giving them soft copy, give them hard copy. Some people need to see people and things to get the message through. An understanding of others' preferred means of communication gives us clues as to how we can get through to others.
The last key to effective communication is empathetic reflection. After the initial passing on or receiving of messages, spend a little time to digest what message you think you have passed on to others, or what message you think others want to pass on to you.
If you have to communicate with a project group for a rather long period, it helps to have briefings throughout the duration of a project to improve communication within the team and to check in with team members that all are still moving in the same direction toward the same goal.
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To recap, communication can be improved, first by asking ourselves what kind of assumptions we are making and whether or not they are correct. Second, we need to question what kind of interpretations can be made from the message, and whether or not they are correct. Third, we should try to reverse our role and understand the message from others' standpoints. Knowing others' preferred means of communication will help. Fourth, it doesn't hurt to ask questions and clarify the messages, and to check in with one another to ensure we have indeed made the right assumptions and interpretations.
An Indonesian proverb sums it succinctly for us: Malu bertanya, sesat di jalan (if you are shy in asking questions, you will get lost on the way).
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